


Shaky Hands

by dasakuryo



Series: Whumptober 2019 [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-12-01 21:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasakuryo/pseuds/dasakuryo
Summary: Jyn puts herself in harm's way deliberatedly, and it should comes as no surprise Cassian has something to say about that. And it isn't pretty.





	Shaky Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the first day of Whumptober 2019. The prompt was shaky hands! Hope you enjoy the read :)

Grinding her jaw and clenching her fists, Jyn tries to keep herself in check, but her patience and self-control wear thinner and thinner with every passing second. To be quite specific, the longer that scowl remains etched to the lines of Cassian's face, especially considering that kriffing glare is still smoldering in his eyes.

She rolls her shoulders and lifts up her chin, and the creases on his brow multiply. His eyes narrow when she shifts her weight and folds her arms across her chest. Jyn can barely register the faint humming of hyperspace travel, the soft blue light pooling from the transparisteel makes every angle of Cassian's anger gleam and, much to his dismay given he wants to appear impassive, illuminate the small cockpit enough for her to see his nostrils flaring. She bites the curse itching on the tip of her tongue and cocks an eyebrow instead.

"You want me to say I am sorry?"

She scoffs the question, even though the rational side of her brain had clearly commanded to give a considerably soft edge to her voice. But she couldn't, her annoyance is boiling in her chest and her anger is flowing quickly through her with every rapid thump of her heart.

To his credit, Cassian takes a sharp inhale before seething, equally acidly, "that's not the point."

Doubling the stakes, she takes a step forward, glaring directly into his eyes. She doesn't miss the way Cassian's fingers twitch, but he remains in place, holding her gaze.

"You got your data," she almost spits the words out. "Mission accomplished, captain Andor," she can't help but sneer when throwing those words at him.

He draws in a breath. Jaw set, eyes smoldering, fingers curling.

"That's not the point," he hisses through gritted teeth.

It's Jyn's turn to take a deep breath. She is grounding her teeth together so fiercely hard, to keep herself from barking something she will later regret, that a flare of pain blossoms on the sides of her face. She uncurls her fingers, trying to channel her emotions.

"Then which is your kriffing point, Cassian?"

Cassian's animosity-filled face drops for an instant, eyes clouding so suddenly it almost makes Jyn flinch backwards. A shadow flickers across his face, smooths the hard lines and creases on his skin into clamped lips. Her heart lodges in her throat when his breath catches and his eyes meet hers again. Still fierce, yet sad. A cold tremor runs through her body. He most definitely did not just swallow down a chocked sob. She's clearly seeing things that aren't there.

But then his lips tremble. She barely hears the swish of his arm against his vest when he reaches up. The familiar warmth of his palm nestles her cheek and her throat tightens even more. Her palms itch and her whole body tickles, urging her to move, but all she can do is open her mouth and let out an unsteady sigh. It's when tingles bloom under the brush of his thumb along her cheek that she realizes—

Cassian hands are _shaking_. His lower lip is trembling.

_"I thought I'd lost you."_

The confession comes in a hoarse, pained whisper breezing across her lips when he dips his head down. And at the ripple in his voice something inside her chest shatters— not knowing how to bridge the gulf, nor ease the painful knot in her throat choking her, she leans forward. The tip of her nose bumps against his in the midst of their mingled exhales. Her eyes flutter shut and her fingers grip his jacket sleeve.

She can't bear to pull back and gaze at the hurt in his eyes.

"I am sorry," she manages, her heart giving a lurch when he rests his forehead on hers. "I wanted to help you-"

The rest of that thought abandons her when he presses a kiss to her hairline, which prompts her to throw her arms around his waist, pulling him close out of reflex. She buries her face in his shirt and harbors her hands on the soft curve of his back. The dust still clinging to the fabric burns her nostrils, but the warmth seeping through it and onto her palms makes the rough sensation grow dim.

"I can't lose you, Jyn," he mumbles and Jyn finds herself tightening the embrace.

Her eyes burn. Perhaps she shouldn't have suddenly gone radio-silent when she spotted that KX droid on the hallway. Maybe she should have remembered they were on an undercover mission on an imperial facility, with threats of danger looming at every corner. She might have been aware of the fact Cassian knew exactly what would be in store for her if she got caught—

But all she could think of in that moment was Kay. How hurt Cassian was at his absence, even though he masked it well. In that split of a second it took her to make the choice, Jyn had reasoned she was doing this for the Rebellion. After all, a reprogrammed security imperial droid was an asset for undercover missions, an asset for a spy, a vessel where to download Kay back from the navi-computer.

_Kay will keep Cassian safe when she wasn't there to watch his back._

It had all made perfect sense back then.

But then Cassian dreaded the worst, thought she had been captured, that he had lost her, and nearly blew his cover in his compulsion to get to her when surrounded by Stormtroopers and imperial officials, of whom the latter would be more than glad to sink their claws on the Alliance's best spy.

"I wanted to bring Kay back," she swallows through the lump clogging her throat, "for real this time."

With his hands still trembling against her face, Cassian pulls away, enough to gaze down into her eyes. His thumb leaving a brushing caress on her lower lip when his mouth curls at the corners lightly.

"I know," he breathes, the smile touching his eyes. "But I don't want to lose you... too."

Her hands are shaking, too, when she cups his face and nods.

**Author's Note:**

> I've missed writing for these two space lovebirds! Cassian is really worried for Jyn safety, but sometimes doesn't know how to be straightforward about it... though actions speak louder than words, amirite? Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you've all enjoyed the story :) Feedback is always appreciated! <3


End file.
